I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
