So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
