what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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