Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
