stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize