somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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