talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
