Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
