i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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