Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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