At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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