3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
