did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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