It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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