put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
