I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
