no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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