I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
