Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
