Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
