Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
