I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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