Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
