dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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