I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
