Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
last night I used snow as a chaser
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
