Dual....:-)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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