Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
operation have a gay friend backfired
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
