So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
