Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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