When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
