FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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