I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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