so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize