she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
