Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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