I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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