You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
