I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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