you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
