i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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