i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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