is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
