The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
