you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
