I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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