All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
