He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
