Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
