I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
