Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
