Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
