she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize