she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
